Please Do Not Dress Appropriately
by hypheniated
Summary: Girls are manipulative, evil people, according to Suigetsu, because Karin got him to go to Ino's ridculous party, actually dressed up in a stupid costume. But the view on Karin's choice of clothes changes all that anger into enjoyment. AU, SuiKa.


_Part of my prompts challenge, I'm using: skirt._

_Don't own Naruto, or any good costumes. I do own a Catholic school uniform, leftover from my private school days._

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Girls are manipulative, sneaky, conniving, and too damn clever at making guys do whatever they wanted.

Especially making they (meaning Neji, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Naruto and himself) dress up in costumes for Ino's random costume party.

It was February, for heaven's sake, not October!

Stupid girls with their evil ways.

That was the trail of thought that ran endlessly though Suigetsu's mind, along with vehemently angry curses.

_

* * *

Earlier. That. Week. On. A. Monday:

* * *

  
_

_The girls (Tenten, Ino, Hinata, Sakura, and Karin) were already sitting in their group's tree, which had served as a meeting place, a hideout, and lunch area._

_It was an enormous tree, with thick low branches perfect to sit on. It wasn't too leafy, yet it wasn't sticky from sap. _

_It was a perfect tree, and it had lasted for twelve years of schooling that they had done._

_The girls were being as 'loud as usual', as Shikamaru put it, as the boys slowly made their way there._

_The girlish prattle stopped, and instead feminine voices chimed out greetings to all the boys._

_The boys merely waved back, save for Naruto, who said hello just as loudly._

_Lunches were opened, and unwanted food was exchanged._

_Sasuke was in the middle of handing Hinata some non-tomato sandwich he didn't want when Ino burst out talking a mile a minute._

"_We should have a party!" She yelled._

_Everyone easily voiced their agreement, but all had missed the glint in the blonde's blue eyes._

"_But not just any party." She went on excitedly. "A costume party!"_

_Sasuke choked on his tomato and Neji spat out his water._

"_What?" Suigetsu sputtered. _

"_That sounds like a good idea from a dumb pig-headed blonde." Sakura grinned mischievously, and ducked as Ino threw her juice-box at her. _

"_You pig, there was still juice in it, and it go on my arm! Eww, pig germs!" And the green eyed teen proceeded to smear it all over Tenten, who jumped away from her contagious hand, and fell off the branch, and into Neji's lap._

"_Oops, sorry Neji! I kind of squished your sandwich!" Tenten squeaked._

"_It's alright. You can stay there." He smirked._

"_Perv!" _

"_Anyways," Ino ignored what just occurred, and went on, "It will be held at my house, you can stay over if you want, my parents went on a business trip and won't be back 'til next month. And Deidara's home, but he'll be out." She added._

"_Sounds too troublesome to get a costume." Shikamaru groaned._

"_Maybe for you, asshole." She glared. "You can't come in unless you are in costume!"_

"_Sounds like f-fun." Hinata said quietly. "Karin, you?"_

"_It does." Karin murmured. "I have the perfect costume for it." She giggled._

"_What's it gonna be? An old hag of a teacher like Tsunade?" Naruto sniggered._

_Karin frowned. "No, you stupid idiot, but it's a secret."_

"_Ohhh! My costume's a secret too!" Ino gloated. _

_The redhead pushed her glasses farther up her nose. "You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine."_

"_Deal. But later, when we're not in front of the boys." Ino made a shushing gesture on her lips._

"_What's this, keeping a secret from us?" Shikamaru drawled. _

_Sasuke perked his head up. "Yeah, keeping a secret from us?" He echoed._

"_Yes. Unless you all go to Ino's little masquerade." Sakura stated sneakily, getting into the girls' plan._

"_I-I'll b-bring f-f-food." Hinata stuttered._

_At this, the boys caved in a little. Hinata's cooking was the best and she was bound to bring a delicious, gooey cake of some sort._

_I'll bring entertainment." Ino said arrogantly, an evil glint reappearing in her eye that no boy noticed._

"_Sure, why the hell not? I'm in!" Naruto shrugged, and began to wolf down his lukewarm ramen._

"… _I have nothing to do this week, whenever your … party is. I will come also." Neji said tiredly._

_Satisfied that those two boys will come, Ino turned pleadingly to Shikamaru._

"_Please, Shika? Pretty please, with a cherry on top? For me?" She stuck out her bottom lip in a pout, staring into the brown-haired boy's eyes, jumping off of her branch, and onto the Nara's knees._

"…_Fine. Troublesome woman." He blushed, and turned his head away in annoyance._

_Ino smiled luminously, elated, and leaned against his legs. "Sasuke? Can you come?"_

"_No. I don't want to." He glared at the blonde. "I'm staying home."_

_Then, the buzz of a phone on vibrate shook Sasuke's pocket. He flipped the sleek shiny black cellphone open._

"_Hello?" Sasuke muttered, but then his onyx eyes widened in fear. "Aniki?"_

_He immediately snapped his phone shut. "I'm going." He announced dully. "My brother's coming home with Hana. And I'm staying over, Ino."_

_Everyone started snickering; Itachi and Hana were a scary couple. They had sex like every minute that they didn't have to spend on human things like eating._

"_Alright!" The blue-eyed female cheered. "Now, Suigetsu?"_

"_No." He said, chewing intently on his mouthful of tuna sandwich. "I hate dressing up when it's not Halloween. It's stupid."_

"_Aw, come on, Suigetsu!" Tenten crowed. "It'd be fun!"_

"_Y-yes, S-Suigetsu, it would b-be f-fun." Hinata spoke._

"_No." He repeated. _

_He felt a little bad for saying no to Hinata; she was a nice, delicate, naive girl in love with an idiot dense blond boy, compared to the other lunatics. _

"_Suigetsu, aren't you curious what our costumes will be?" Sakura inquired._

…_He was very curious, since it was a secret._

"_Maybe." He allowed._

"_Then why not come?" The pinkette wailed._

"_I don't want to."_

"_Please?"_

"_No."_

"_Sasuke! Suigetsu's being mean! Make him go!" She hopped on, and clutched at the poor raven-haired boy._

"_I can't, Sakura." He sighed._

_Karin smiled at everyone's worthless tries._

"_Suigetsu, I just bet that you don't have a good costume to go to Ino's party." She purred._

"_I don't." He said, wary of any tricks the redhead was going to play._

"_You could always wear that costume you wore for Halloween." She laughed prettily._

_Everyone joined in with her._

_Last Halloween Suigetsu wore an enormous pink bunny suit with these sticky warts on it to get candy, and he frightened all the people into giving him all the candy in their house._

"_No way." He groaned._

"_Then I suggest you find a costume that isn't dumb as that one, and attend Ino's party." She said briskly._

"_But I'm not going." He interjected._

"_Yes you are. Because I have these tickets for a certain basketball game playing two weeks from now, and I was going to ask you to come, but I think I'll give it to someone else instead." Karin smirked, she had them there. _

_Konoha was going to play against Sound and it was the biggest game of the season._

_Suigetsu was dying to see it live. He had complained weeks earlier about all the tickets being sold out in one day._

_Now Karin was dangling them from a thread in front of him, in exchange to going to Ino's little random get-together costume party._

_And she obviously had good seats; she always did._

_He finally caved in. _

"_You know what? Fine." Suigetsu snapped. "Those better be good tickets, Karin."_

_The girls cheered. _

* * *

_The Present:_

* * *

Suigetsu and Sasuke were making their way to Ino's house.

Sasuke was dressed up as a magician. Clichéd, Suigetsu told him, but the wolf whistles and giggling he got from the passing girls made it seem like he had a fairly good costume.

He was wearing a white shirt ruffled at the neck, a black cummerbund, a black blazer and matching dress pants, and his normal everyday scuffed black shoes. Sasuke was carrying a white-tipped black 'magic wand', and a black cape lined with red silk over his shoulder.

Suigetsu, on the other hand, was carrying a huge foam-and-metal pole of a sword with holes carved into it.

He was a swordsman.

He wore these long elbow-to-wrist guards he had found in his closet, along with a shield he had made in his Woodworking Class. He spray-painted stiff a pair of jeans, and was wearing a navy blue haori that his mom bought for him.

He was laughed at a little, and had let several guys take some experimental swings with his sword.

Now, he wondered, what were the girls wearing?

They met Naruto on the way, and Suigetsu snickered at his outfit.

Clearly the idiot watched too many action flicks, because he was dressed in his signature color orange, and black, as a freaking ninja.

He even had this headband thing going on and holsters attached to his calves.

"Suigetsu, stop laughing at me!" Naruto whined.

He kept snorting in laughter. "You do not look like a ninja."

Sasuke eyed him. "He's a ninja? I thought he was a carrot."

Naruto then attempted to throw plastic toy daggers at both sniggering boys. "At least I don't look like I swallowed sour milk, Suigetsu! And teme, at least I won't get it by a car like you!"

They sobered up, grins still plastered to their faces, and continued on their trek to Ino's house.

Next stop was the Nara residence. Oddly, Shikamaru was already sitting outside, clad in costume.

"I'm supposed to be a delinquent." He told them tiredly.

He sure looked the part. His normally tied-back hair was down in lank, almost oily-looking strands. The sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up above his elbows, showcasing muscly sun-browned arms, and ripped black jeans covered his legs. And since he always looked tired and slightly gaunt, he was definitely looking like a troublemaker.

"Nice sword, Suigetsu. Naruto, what the hell are you supposed to be?"

"I'M A FUCKING NINJA, GODDAMNIT!"

The Nara shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Sure, Naruto. Hyuga said that he's waiting on the front steps of Ino's house because that the girls needed time to prepare."

The Yamanaka house was two houses away, so the boys made it to the front door, where Neji was standing irritably, leaning against the doorjamb.

He had let Hinata pick out his clothes for the little get-together, and she found him a prince outfit. Puffy sleeves and tunic and breeches, the whole package. He even had a scabbard with a sword thrust into his belt. His entire outfit was in shades of blue.

Even Sasuke had to laugh that Neji's ridiculous costume.

Neji, being the stoic, seething icecube he is, glared at everyone and everything in his path.

Sasuke rapped his knuckles on the door.

Ino's older brother, Deidara, threw open the door.

"Hello, un. Sorry, my little sister and her giggly friends are still not ready, un." The long-haired man droned mechanically. "She said give them five more minutes while they mess with Tenten, and you can come in, un."

They stepped in, Sasuke first, Naruto second, Neji third, Suigetsu fourth, and Shikamaru last.

Naruto ran into the kitchen, looking for something to eat, while the other boys sauntered into the living room to wait.

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* * *

Upstairs, however:

* * *

  
_

There was tortured screaming, giggling, stomping, the clatter of makeup containers, and thumps were echoing.

Deidara knocked on the purple door. "Ino-chan, I let the boys in. I'm going out."

"Okay, big brother! Come home in one piece!" A muffled voice sang sweetly.

Behind the thin wooden barrier, Ino strutted proudly into the center of the room, catching the attention of the other girls in the room.

"Alright, girlies, its showtime! Remember, act as normal as possible, as if you wear these costumes everyday. Got it?" Ino whispered excitedly.

"Yes, yes we got it, Ino." Karin groaned. She brushed herself down.

"LET'S GO!" Sakura cheered.

Hinata nodded, and opened the door, and the five girls started down the stairs.

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Downstairs:

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_

The boys could hear the clicks of heels make their way down the oak wood stairs.

Suddenly, Suigetsu was nervous. What if Karin made fun of his costume?

Why did he even care about Karin anyways? He hated her since kindergarten when she poured a cupful of pink paint all over his head, and he threw a banana and a juicebox at he, and she punched him in the balls, which hurt like hell.

That was also the only time he appreciated fangirls, no matter how young they were, since they ratted out Karin for dumping paint on him.

And he could have also avoided her for the rest of his freaking life, if it wasn't for Naruto that went and became friends with Sakura and it broke down from there.

And then he snapped out of his reverie, when he caught a flash of a plaid skirt.

What the hell, he wondered. What a lame costume it must be, since it was plaid, whoever it was.

But then all anger, tiredness, every negative emotion was erased from his mind when the owner of the plaid skirt stepped out somewhat slyly.

The skirt was short. Very short. In fact, it barely covered the freezing ass cheeks of Karin's butt.

She stood as tall as she could, and made her way to the couch that Suigetsu was sitting on.

The poor aqua-haired boy could only stare.

A thin, white, almost see-through blouse was covering her slim basketball-muscled torso, accenting her pale arms with puffy sleeves and complimenting her medium-sized breasts with a slight ruching. A white push-up bra was slightly visible to Suigetsu's eye, along with a deep plunging V of snow-white skin down past her collarbone, courtesy of the blouse being unbuttoned about five buttons.

A maroon and black striped tie, done loose, was around her swan-like neck. The skirt matched the tie, he noted stupidly. White kneesocks dressed her thin legs snugly, and five-inch closed-toe stilettos encased tiny size-six feet in shiny black leather.

Suigetsu dragged his blue eyes to her head.

Her glittering ruby eyes stared smugly into his through thin lenses of her black-rimmed glasses, and her flaming hair was done into cute braids.

Her tiny white hand fluttered up to her smirking red lips, and back down to her side.

Karin was dressed as a Catholic schoolgirl.

And Suigetsu could not stop salivating at the sight of her.

Um, wasn't he ranting that he hated her about ten minutes ago?

The other boys weren't doing so hot either. Naruto was actually drooling, Shikamaru looked shocked, Neji's white eyeballs were the size of dinner plates, and Sasuke was blushing like a rose.

Tenten was dressed as a bride, complete with a veil, gloves and a dress. Her 'wedding' dress was so short that her white fishnet stockings that ended at halfway up her thigh were clearly seen as she teetered on her impossibly high white peep-toe heels.

She was the one who broke the silence. "Someone help me here? I'm going to fall if I take another step."

Neji hurriedly got up, and supported her to a loveseat, which he was sitting on.

Ino was a female police officer. She wore a blue cap, and a tight dress littered with random pockets. A gun holster was strapped to her naked thigh, holding a water gun, which looked too much like a real gun. Attached to her belt were a flashlight, keys, and handcuffs. She held another pair of them in her hand, and a bat in the other.

"Hands up!" She barked, giggling at the end, and pointed her bat at Shikamaru. "You there! You look like trouble!"

Hinata stood shyly at the edge of the group. She was dressed the most elaborately. She was wearing a light lavender and red kimono that seemed at first glance that it covered everything. Second glance that there was hidden slits all the way up her thighs, so whenever she moved, gaping cuts in the fabric showed her legs, and her breasts were emphasized by the copper obi that was tied tightly enough to only allow breathing and other minimal movements. Her hair was done up in a twist, with ink-blue tendrils falling out. She stood easily on the heels that she wore.

Sakura, on the other hand, was the opposite of Hinata. She was dressed in mint green as a fairy. A teeny wispy green dress covered her petite frame, with voluminous spidery black butterfly wings sprouted from her back. She carried a blood rose as her magic wand as she danced back and forth in stick-thin heeled black sandals. She wore a crown made from a line of ivy cut from a plant in Ino's mom's greenhouse.

Sakura grinned. "You boys are looking good tonight!" She whistled through her teeth shrilly.

If possible, Sasuke turned an even darker red, and attempted to hide it by turning his head.

"You all look like hookers." Shikamaru said.

"What." Sakura gasped.

"Did." Tenten hissed.

"Y-You." Hinata stuttered.

"Just." Karin shrieked.

"Say??!!??" Ino screamed. "You're under arrest! For… SEXUAL HARASSMENT, SHIKAMARU NARA!"

She stomped over to him, and grabbed his hands. She whipped out her handcuffs and cuffed him smoothly.

"You're dead, Shikamaru." Naruto snorted.

Ino ignored him. "You're coming with me for punishment." She said slyly. She dragged him away through a door.

"That's the bathroom." Tenten observed, as the door locked shut.

"Y-You th-think we l-look tr-trashy?" Hinata spoke, her bottom lip trembling dangerously.

"I don't, Hinata! I think you look beautiful!" Naruto exclaimed, leaping up and cuddling her. "We match!"

She turned almost redder than Sasuke, and seemed to be thinking, _'breathe, breathe, don't faint, breathe…'_

"Get your hands off of my cous- Mmmph!" Neji began, his mouth being smothered by a silk-gloved hand.

"Shut up, Neji, and let your cousin…be harassed." Tenten giggled, perching on the armrest of the velveteen loveseat.

"Tenten, you need a groom." Karin said sneakily.

"Yes, Neji could be your groom." Sakura added evilly as Naruto and Hinata left the room gazing, lovesick, into each other's eyes.

"Sure!" And she kissed him, grabbing his head and twisting it to face hers before smashing her lips on his.

He retaliated by grabbing her body, lifting her up, and carrying her up the stairs.

"Eww. Now that's gross. Good luck in your marriage bed, lovebirds!" Sakura crowed after them.

The two remaining girls snorted.

"Hey, fairy, pass me some of that cake, will you?" Suigetsu asked distractedly, gesturing mindlessly.

"Sure." She passed him a slice of Hinata's secret triple-fudge-caramel-mint-strawberry-marshmallow-and-white-chocolate cake.

He nearly stabbed himself in the face five times while trying to get just one bite of the fucking cake.

When Suigetsu finally got some cake into his mouth, he nearly spat it out, because he made the mistake of glancing at Karin.

She was sucking on a lollipop.

Oh lord, he was practically glued to the sensual flicking and hard sucking and gentle licking that pink muscle did to the poor lollipop.

Sasuke frowned when Sakura jumped into his lap, and offered him a piece of cake.

"Eat." Sakura pouted.

"No."

"Eat."

"No."

"Eat it, Sasuke."

"No."

Sakura stuffed the cake into her mouth, latched her lips onto his, and transferred the morsel into his mouth.

Sasuke didn't spit it out. Instead, he swallowed thoughtfully.

"You keep serving it to me like that, and we have a deal."

"Okay!"

And it continued.

Karin, who was thoroughly disgusted, told them to get a room.

They didn't hear her, and went right on kissing.

Karin adjusted her glasses on her delicate nose, and stood up, her derriere level with Suigetsu's eyes.

The length of her skirt bothered him.

It was too much for his taste. Shikamaru was right, it was bordering prostitution.

At least she was wearing panties, though.

"I see London, I see France, I see Karin's underpants!" Suigetsu sang.

"I see Suigetsu's fly undone!" She sang back to him.

He automatically checked his pants.

Karin flounced away into what presumably was the dining room from what Suigetsu figured, and followed her.

"So, Suigetsu, you did come up with a good costume." She laughed as she sat down in an antique hardwood chair.

"…You have a good costume too." He grimaced, and turned his head away, trying to not glance at the exposed ivory sections of her skin.

Karin smirked, and got up. She squeezed her way towards him, batting her eyelashes and clutching her hands together.

"Aw, Suigetsu, you don't like my costume?" She teased, her bottom lip protruding in a full pout.

Only then he looked at her, a sprinkling scatter of pink across his cheekbones.

"I like it-" And he took a couple steps forward, making the red-haired girl back up and fall into her previously vacated chair, "too much." He reached out, grabbing the carved knobs of wood on either side of her.

"Damn it." And, catching her by surprise, Suigetsu swiftly caught her neck with a searing kiss, causing Karin to gasp.

"You've gone too far, Karin. I hate it." He breathed rivulets of air onto her delicate collarbone. "I hate it because I now realize that I fucking like you."

She managed to say, "Too bad. I like you too," before succumbing to the harsh, sweet kisses he was showering upon her.

* * *

_...And I leave the rest to your imagination. I do hope you liked it._

_I'm very happy. I bought myself a laptop, but my parents don't know about it :D_

_:E hypheniated_


End file.
